After a breakup we sometimes feel the desire or even the need to find a way to be close to our ex again. However this isn’t always easy when your ex-partner doesn’t necessarily feel the same way! After a separation things can become tense and you see the person you used to share your life with less and less. Sadly sometimes you don’t even see them at all anymore.
But a lot of people don’t know how to deal with this distance and forget to take into consideration their ex’s need for space. You start to feel frustrated and this is when you commit the biggest mistake ever: badgering an ex or even harassing them via text, phone or even in person! This is the only way you’ve managed to keep in touch; so you send hundreds of text messages every day, or you wait for your ex somewhere you know they’ll be so you can say your piece. How do you get to this point where you begin to harass your ex? How can you avoid falling into this trap that could ruin everything?
You have to realize that this isn’t the only way to stay in touch and to be forgiven. If you’re acting this way, it’s because you don’t realize that there are so many other proven methods that offer much better results. So the very first thing to do in this situation in order to properly move forward is to understand what is making you suffocate your ex in this way!
Badgering an ex: Why do 8 out of 10 people make this mistake?
In order to avoid making the same mistakes twice it’s important to understand what made you make the mistake in the first place. One of the main explanations is a insatiable desire to communicate with your ex and to hear their voice because you need to feel reassured. The fact that you’re not getting a response is what’s driving you crazy.
In fact, at first you probably just tried to get back in contact with your ex without trying to force the issue. But now that you can’t even get a simple text message back, you’re trying anything and everything to make some kind of headway.
I’m going to have to be honest with you. If you’re doing this, it’s a sign of serious emotional dependence; you’re programmed your whole life based on your ex, without really taking into consideration the breakup. In any case their decision was a surprise to you, and your whole world is falling apart around you because you thought you had your ex in your pocket. So it’s not only love that’s making you desperately try to stay in contact with them, it’s also a personal need to be in a relationship and to feel loved. You’re afraid that your ex will forget about you, so you’re making yourself too present.
Sometimes you do this not just because you want your ex back, but more so out of pride. Your ego won’t accept not getting a response so you push things. Badgering an ex can sometimes come from a place of hubris rather than of love. Sometimes it’s even about revenge. You’re hurt, and you want the person that did this to you to feel just as miserable.
How to get over a breakup?
If you find yourself in this situation the root of the problem could be that you haven’t been able to mourn your former relationship and you’re having a hard time finding self-confidence. In order to avoid distancing yourself even further from the one you love, and increasing your odds of getting back together with them, you’re going to have to take a different course of action. You’ll have to figure out the best way to get over the relationship and to rebuild yourself, because this is the key to advancing towards getting your ex back!
I’m sure you’re wondering why?
Quite simply, it’s because you have to find self-confidence instead of allowing yourself to become depressed in love. If you want to set the right techniques in motion, avoiding the don’ts of getting back with an ex , you’ll have to be able to see which method will have the most positive impact.
This issue affects many people which is why I’ve created an eBook for both genders (because harassment of an ex is done by both sexes, contrary to popular belief,) to help people rebuild themselves and to understand why the breakup occurred. When you spend your time badgering your ex it means that you aren’t ready to move forward and that you don’t quite know where you stand.
Each attempt at making your ex want to take you back starts with working on yourself first. If you’re able to do this you’ll quickly see that this is how you’ll easily get a positive reaction from the one you love!
Run in the opposite direction instead of badgering your ex!
To avoid harassing your ex, you are going to have to do something radically different and I don’t think you’re going to like it!
A moment ago I mentioned working on you. But if you’re reading my articles from 11 am to noon, and at 12:01 you grab your phone and send your ex 15 texts you’re not going to make any progress. You’re going to have to be stern with yourself. There’s a way to combine rebuilding yourself and avoiding staring at your phone waiting for a text message that you’re pining for.
I’m of course talking about using the ultimate technique for getting you ex back: Radio silence! If you’re unfamiliar with this method, it’s one of the basic elements of making your ex want to come back. I suggest you read about it more in our blog.
By employing Radio Silence you’re obviously going to be doing the opposite of harassing your ex but you’re also going to have the time to focus on working on yourself; and lifting your head back up after the breakup. Calling your ex in vain has negative repercussions for you and for your morale; and it’s important during such a tough period that you find a way to feel better. Cutting off ties with your ex is not so bad after all because it allows you to come back stronger. You’ve already made an error by not putting distance between you and the one you love following your breakup, but now you have the chance to fix it and to start over. If you’d like me to guide you during this period I suggest a personalized coaching session to get back together with your ex.
Your coach to figure out how NOT to harass your ex,