Over the course of time, you’ve developed intense feelings for the person with whom you share your life. Many women don’t realize how deeply they love their man until the moment they lose him. But for you, it’s different; you know what you feel.
You’re perfectly aware of the fact that this is the love of your life, and you want your story to last as long as possible. You have every right to be so in love. After all, it’s the most magical feeling there is. You’re on cloud nine and each day becomes precious.
In any case, love isn’t the only factor here. When I hear, “ I can’t live without my ex boyfriend ,” two things come to mind. The first being that it’s a beautiful declaration of love, and that your attachment and desire to build your lives together is noteworthy. The other thing to look out for, which is not quite as positive, is serious emotional dependence.
Is it healthy to feel so much love? Should you give so much importance to one person? Many women ask these (and many other) questions, and I have taken it upon myself to answer them in this article. To learn more about my opinion on the subject, read on!
I can’t live without my ex boyfriend: Is this really true?
Even if you met your man at a young age, if he’s your one and only true love, you still had a life before him. You have friends and family, and over time your group has grown to include colleagues, etc. And yet, you feel your life depends on your man.
If you truly feel that you cannot live without him, it means that you’ve placed your present and your future in his hands.
Many men dream of having a woman like you. In fact I just came back from a coaching session with a man whose wife cheated on him because she didn’t feel anything for him anymore.
He would give anything to have her say these type of things and come back to him. But we aren’t putting ourselves in this man’s shoes; we are putting ourselves in your man’s shoes.
Maybe you have kids, a house together, you always go on holiday as a family… So it’s normal that you would be unable to envision a future without him. It makes sense; your plans involve you together. I’m not saying that you should leave him so that you could go and live your own life to prove that you can do everything on your own.
I just want you to understand that your life does not depend on him!”
Separations unfortunately can pop up out of the blue, and if you one day find yourself in this situation, and you feel worthless and useless without him, you’ll have a very hard time picking yourself back up.
Too much love: Is it even possible?
“Can we love a man too much?” Many women ask me this question, but the answer is easy because love isn’t quantifiable. We can’t determine how much is too much.
Some people measure it by actions, others by words, but even people that don’t express their emotions can be just as deeply in love! It all depends on each individual person. There’s no need to try and put numbers and labels on it, or to be competitive!
So even though I can’t say whether or not an excess of love really exists, when I hear, “ I can’t live without my ex boyfriend ” I can tell you that people can sometimes put themselves in a difficult position. They put themselves at a lower position than their significant other.
I deeply encourage you to express your feelings, to be happy and in love with him, just be careful that it doesn’t start rooting itself in emotional dependence.
Take the time and effort to be happy with yourself as well. Sometimes, for work, or family, a person needs to be away for a few days, weeks, or months. You don’t want to find yourself in a position where you aren’t fine without them by your side!
“Loving your man too much can be destructive as well. It can push you to commit errors, such as extreme jealousy. While thinking you’re trying to protect your relationship, you end up putting it at risk by making your partner want to put distance between you.
What to do when there are problems in the relationship?
Whether or not we want it to happen, couples go through rough patches. Even after twenty years of marriage, a relationship can still be at risk. This is exactly why I strongly advise you to never take your partner’s feelings for granted, thinking you have them in your pocket. If you put your man on a pedestal, you’re giving him all the power, and this is not to your advantage.
Of course you’re not doing this on purpose. Not every woman is going to shout “I’m crazy about my man ” to whomever will listen, but if you feel your life isn’t really worth living without him, it’s time to reevaluate. If he’s up on this pedestal, he can get away with anything, and he’ll have no limits.
Of course if one day you break up, your life will be different. But this doesn’t mean that your life will be over. If you find yourself in this situation, or if you’ve just gone through it, you’ll have to lift your head back up!
It’s imperative to not show emotional dependence, whether it is in your relationship, or in your attempt to get it back. You must also be able to fight it internally. Instead of just hiding emotional dependence, it’s always better to genuinely erase it!
Your coach for knowing how to act with or without your man,