If you find yourself in this situation you are completely right to look for advice for these types of situations. Of course there is no one single miracle solution; but there are a multitude of techniques and methods that you can use to reach your goals; you just have to know how to properly use them so that you avoid making any false moves.
If you are telling yourself “I still live with my ex” and wondering how you can implement a version of radio silence than this article is for you! We will also tell you how you can efficiently reopen communication using techniques like the hand-written letter; and how to deal with frequent fighting. Realize that your main problem is stemming from your ex-partner’s anger, lack of respect, and their desire to avoid you.
In order to help you succeed in getting back together I will reveal tips that have never been released before in this article!
My ex lives with me and is afraid to get manipulated!
I know that “manipulation” may sound like a strong term to you; but people are often guilty of doing it subconsciously. Your ex could have a hard time accepting that you move forward and seamlessly get over your past relationship or marriage; so you make an effort to keep a good atmosphere in your household, especially for your kids. But it’s not working, and you’re constantly dealing with your ex’s anger and hostility.
You have to understand that this is a result of past wounds, but it’s also because your ex does not like seeing you happy.
It’s quite simply because your ex is also suffering, and this is their “revenge” without realizing how much it’s hurting you.
Under these circumstances, it’s imperative to regain control over the situation. I advise you to numb yourself when faced with your ex’s behavior. Never show any signs of unhappiness or pain and stand tall when you’re confronted with your ex’s insults. The point isn’t to play a game; it’s to thicken your skin in front of the person with whom you used to share your life.
You’ll notice that in these moments you’ll start to regain control little by little; and that your ex who is currently acting like a monster will stop being scornful and disrespecting.
If you do your part to remain calm when faced with their behavior, yelling, or reproaches, you’ll be able to eventually begin to communicate with one another once again. This will lead to a calmer exchange, and a more peaceful life in your household. Please note that you have to succeed in this first step before you can launch your attempt at getting back together. If you neglect reestablishing peace between you, tension will always be present and all your efforts will have been for nothing.
Have patience especially when you live with your ex!
Many people that I guide via coaching sessions tell me, “I still live with my ex and break down when I’m faced with their behavior almost on a daily basis.” As I mentioned earlier, you sometimes have to deal with a huge amount of negative remarks and/or actions.
And yet if you want to get back together, regaining control isn’t as hard as it seems! It’s easier to grab the reigns when you stay focused on the goal of being irreproachable in the long run. When your ex realizes that you’re independent and that their actions are no longer affecting you, they’ll have no choice but to shift their behavior. The more you’re able to bring positivism to your exchanges or dialogues, the more likely you’ll be able to restore affinity between you two.
So now hold your head high, and stay connected to your personal set of values through this simple exercise; Grab a pen and paper, and write down everything you value in your daily life: Respect, tolerance, kindness…etc.
Then you can write down your own qualities, and you’ll have a list that nicely shows what you represent as a person. Now it’s on you to focus on these values and to incorporate them into your daily life. Your ex will have no more reason to criticize you. The reason is simply because you two shared the same value system at one point. So show your ex that you’re on the same page and that this hasn’t changed, even if recent events have pulled you two apart.
So yes, you’re going to have to act independently, not based on your ex’s actions. This way you’ll find the best way to bring love back into your household!
I still live with my ex and things have calmed down; what next?
After a few weeks, (usually three to five) you’re able to avoid fights and you’ll see that affinity is settling back. This doesn’t mean your work is done, but you’ve succeeded in completing the first step: overcoming negativity and constant arguing.
Now your next challenge is to reignite the flame to make your man or your woman approach you. Take some time at this point to focus on yourself, to put your very best foot forward. Do some exercising to make your body look even better; maybe even do something new with your hair. Spruce yourself up to grab the eye of the person you still love, because the current situation puts you at an advantage. In fact you should be thinking “I live under the same roof as my ex, so it’s even easier for me to show them how I’ve improved.”
You can also attract your ex in moments that you share alone or with your family, because they’ll feel at ease, without thinking, “He/she is trying so hard to get me back.” To reach this point, you only have to follow one rule: do NOT talk about your relationship, your emotions, or the past!
You may experience some rejection at first, but don’t let this dissuade you from continuing your efforts and your changes. Suggest unusual things to do together, and your ex will realize that they’re missing a great aspect of life.
With patience and tangible change, I give you my Coach’s Word that your ex will notice and will gravitate towards you. If thousands of people have already succeeded, why not give it a go?
If you’d like to know more, don’t hesitate to reach out or to book a one on one coaching session. We’d be happy to help!
Your coach to get back with your ex even if you still live together,