It’s always kind of strange to see when some of the people you know are able to get along with their ex really well after the breakup (even if their new rapport is ambiguous), but this isn’t the case for you.
Ever since you separated, or maybe even before, you’ve been at odds and maybe your ex is the one that’s failing at establishing a proper relationship with you.
Even if you’re not necessarily trying to get back together, you could still have reasons why you’d want to be on good terms with the person that shared your life with you.
Just because you break up doesn’t mean that all bonds are broken. I’m especially talking about situations in which two people have children together and so they must continue to see one another.
“My ex hates me and I don’t know what to do! Should I continue to make an effort or should I just give up?” There are so many questions like this that come to mind when a person finds themselves under these circumstances. It’s therefore time to do help you and to make things clearer!
My ex hates me so much and I don’t know why?
Unfortunately, not all relationships end on good terms. Of course it’s normal to feel a certain amount of bitterness towards the person you were with, but it’s still not an easy thing to accept. When you go from love to hate there are of course always specific reasons.
No one enjoys being furious or creating conflicts. The past you’ve shared is blocking you from having a healthy relationship. Even if your goal isn’t to get back together, you don’t want to be on bad terms with your ex.
You shared some pretty special moments after all and even if the love you felt for one another has disappeared, the attachment is still present. So you shouldn’t automatically think that every person that wants to improve their relationship with their ex wants to be in a couple with them again.
The reasons behind the bitterness are different from couple to couple but there are two situations that we often see in this type of problem. For example, excessive jealousy can make the victim of it become extremely frustrated. After all your outbursts, your partner never said anything and instead bottled it up inside, and now they’re angry with you.
But the main reason behind why your ex could hate you is infidelity. You’ve been unfaithful and they can’t bring themselves to forgive you. You broke their heart and at the moment, you represent their broken heart.
I don’t want to dishearten you, but under these circumstances you shouldn’t expect your ex to return to you with the flick of a magic wand. If you’re saying, “my ex hates me,” it’s because you know that it’s because of something serious so you’re definitely going to need time if you want them to give you another chance.
My ex hates me and I need to stop being dependent on them
When you’re facing difficulties with your ex after a painful breakup and you want to get back in contact with them, it’s important to avoid being needy. In other words, never beg your ex or tell them that you are nothing without them.
First of all because this isn’t true. Despite what you might think, the love you feel for your ex is blinding you but this breakup can’t be allowed to break you.
Not putting your ex on a pedestal is also essential. You shouldn’t devalue yourself and give them all the power. It’s out of the question that you make yourself inferior to your ex if you want to rebuild yourself. So many men and women have the tendency to beg or to belittle themselves so that they can make their stop hating them.
Nevertheless, there is something important that you should know. Not being in conflict with your ex doesn’t mean that you should say, “yes” to their every whim. You also need to be happy in your life and you shouldn’t base this on your ex.
On top of that, when you’re trying to get back together with someone you have to be strong and show that this breakup hasn’t defeated you. There is another technique, Radio Silence (which is a topic that I’ve written many articles about on this site,) that is very effective because it makes your ex-significant other realize that you don’t need them to be able to rebuild yourself and your own life. This makes them feel frustrated and even if they don’t show it, this is something good.
They loathe me but it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost
When your relationship with your ex is in shambles there are two solutions that can help you feel better and to get out of this situation. You can either try using pertinent actions to get a reaction out of them (and you will have to adapt them to your specific situation) or you could try to turn the page and move on.
People often ask me, “Adrian, what should I do? Should I give up or keep trying?” It’s very simple; I can’t make the decision for you because this is your life and your story.
However, once your decision has been made I can help you see it through until the end until you reach your goal. I tend to think that giving up is the easy way out because you haven’t tried everything you can and you risk having regrets further on down the road.
I always say that nothing is impossible in love, even if you have no more news from your ex, or if they don’t want to speak to you any more. It’s true that reestablishing a positive relationship with your ex can take time and it depends on the situation, but it’s on you to make the right moves and use the right techniques.
You have to accept the situation and if your ex won’t speak to you, it’s because they still need time or distance and you have to respect their needs. If your ex-partner decides to not be in touch with you whatsoever, you shouldn’t get too upset because this reaction is often rooted in anger.
Once your ex stops being so angry, they’ll realize that they miss you. If you follow my advice and methods you’ll see that things can calm down and become balanced once again.
The coach when my ex hates me.