The art of seduction can be a very powerful means to attract a man and ultimately make him fall in love with you. If you’ve been in a relationship odds are that you were able to use your seduction prowess at least once before.
During long term relationships we tend to forget all about seduction and the positive impact that it can have; quite simply you either feel like your boyfriend or husband is there to stay, or you are simply no longer willing to prioritize making efforts to make him fall in love again.
You’ve got your eye on your ex. Maybe you’ve just broken up, or perhaps it’s been years, but you’re starting to wonder how to seduce your ex boyfriend. You miss his touch, you’re yearning to be close to him again and you’re probably wondering if it’s possible to make him feel the same way. Your motives are going to dictate the course of action you must take, but don’t worry, it’s definitely possible. You’ve got plenty of tools to light that fire in his eyes…and you’re about to find out what to do!
I know this because as a relationship expert I help people that are in your exact same situation get back with someone they love every single day. I offer private coaching sessions and have even created this Self Help Audio Seminar highlighting years and years of research findings on how to get an ex-boyfriend back!
Your motives are going to dictate the course of action you must take, but don’t worry, it’s definitely possible…again I know this from personal experience. Even if you don’t yet realize it, you’ve got plenty of tools to light that fire in his eyes…and you’re about to find out what to do!
No matter how much time has passed since you and your ex broke up, you can always attract him again if you want to. Of course each situation is unique and I can’t tell you how quickly you will see results unless I know the intricacies of your relationship, but if you follow the guidelines in this article, the odds of success will be in your favor.
Also be sure to check out the following article if you want to go more in depth on how to seduce and understand a man.
Unfortunately if you are reading this article, you most likely feel like it is now too late and you are either in the process of breaking up or have already separated. Fortunately for you, the odds are that it is still possible to seduce him again if you are in the right mindset. We will provide you with a guideline in this article to help you get back with your ex.
Why exactly do you want to seduce your ex boyfriend?
So he’s caught your attention again. You saw some of his new pictures on Facebook and you’re liking what you see… Or perhaps he never lost your eye! Maybe you just broke up and you’re thinking about using the tool of seduction to get him back in your arms.
If you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back this instant, you’ll have to first take a look at why exactly you want him back. If you want something serious again, there will be specific actions that you must avoid doing, whereas if you want to be friends with benefits the rules are more flexible.
Let me briefly highlight this point by talking to you about Sarah, a young lady that I’ve coached for a few months. She thought that she was madly in love with her ex-boyfriend who had left her for a younger woman.
She was desperate to get him back but after working together we quickly realized that it was her ego that was drawing her back in.
Together we worked on a tailored process of personal development which helped her focus on her own goals and projects and in turn her ex quickly came running back.
In her case pulling away and letting go by shifting her focus on her own personal development was enough to peak his attention and make him dump his new girlfriend!
By the way if you’re ex-boyfriend already has a new girlfriend be sure to check out this article!
How to attract your ex back just to sleep together again
In some instances, you may remember how good sex was between you but you know that breaking up was a good call. Sometimes the physical chemistry is strong but the emotional chemistry just isn’t… You’ve realized that that doesn’t necessarily mean that you two should be banned from getting your kicks together! You want to attract your ex simply to have some fun together, and why shouldn’t you?
If you’ve really taken the time to explore what you’re feeling and you’re sure that you aren’t looking for anything serious from your ex, no one is stopping you from seducing him into your bed for some fun under the covers.
Be careful however! I’ve seen many people fall in love with their ex after a few hook ups. You may feel that you are in control, but being intimate with someone that you had feelings can sometimes be a dangerous proposition.
I’ve seen it happen many times, when individuals reach out to me after they thought they had moved on.
Alex Cormont the number 1 French Love Coach in the world talks about this phenomenon at great length in his best selling book 70 Pro Tips To Get Back With An Ex Boyfriend.
This article will be more focused on how to seduce your ex boyfriend if you’d like to get in a relationship again, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn a great deal if you’re more interested in just hooking with your ex.
There’s just less at stake for you because you’re ok with becoming the “friend with benefits” and you’re cool with your ex being your booty call!
I’m looking for how to attract him back so we can get back together
That said, if you’re looking for something serious with your ex, then seducing them is a good technique but it should be used with caution!
Perhaps you really just want to be back together with the one you love and you’re searching for a plan to get him back in your life. We all know that men are very motivated by sex, so why not use it to your advantage?
Seduction is a huge part of any relationship, and it’s the catalyst that brings two people together. Attraction between two people is like a magnet, and you can do all kinds of things to attract your ex back. It should be noted that seduction and attraction aren’t based purely on physical things. Of course the physical aspect of it is huge, but there is a whole mental and emotional part that should not be neglected! More on that later…
Before we get started though, I’d like to take a moment to outline some of the things you should be on the look out for.
A word of caution when attracting your ex back with seduction
Using sexual attraction to get your ex back fast has its pros and cons, and for it to be truly effective, you need to remain in control of the situation. It’s really easy to get caught up in the moment and dive into the first opportunity to sleep with your ex that presents itself… but I am about to tell you why this must be avoided at all costs!
Your ex is motivated by sex, yes. We are all human. You two were in a relationship together so the chemistry was already there and perhaps it still is! It can always be brought back and strengthened… When you begin working on how to have sex with your ex in the hopes of getting in a relationship again, be very careful to bear the following in mind.
1. How do I get my ex boyfriend back? Do not allow yourself to become his Friend-with-Benefits!
Having sex with an ex and getting back in a relationship with them are two totally different things! I’ll give you a hint of what I’m going to share with you in the second part of this article…. Getting an ex back using seduction is going to be like playing a game of cat and mouse… and you are to be the very, very sexy little mouse that is oh so hard to catch! (I know, lame, sorry. But you get what I mean.)
In more seriousness, having coached thousands of individuals I can tell you that valuing yourself is the first step towards being appealing in your ex’s mind. If you are always willing to compromise, to make the first move, or to reassure him…you probably will come off as being too easy…or not a challenge!
So most of the times, if you’re trying to seduce your ex boyfriend again, and you succeed in sleeping with him right away, you’re putting yourself in a tricky situation. Wait, isn’t that what we want? No. Not yet!
He’s going to like sleeping with you. He’s going to like it very much, and he’s also going to think it’s so cool that it was so easy. He’s going to want to do it again, and he’ll call you whenever he feels like it because hey, it’s cool, right?
By making it too easy for him, you’re showing him that it’s not that significant, you’re friends and you can pretty much just go screw around whenever the urge hits. No challenge, no investment, and no importance. Do you see what I’m saying? You’re going to have to make him work for it if you want it to lead somewhere.
2.Be careful not to fall into the friend zone by being too friendly when seducing an ex
Male seduction can be tricky because there’s a thin line between being friendly and seductive. Friendliness and seductiveness both involve being open and using a bit of physical touch, but if there’s not enough flirtation present, your advances can be misinterpreted.
No one wants to fall into the dreaded friend zone when seducing men. While it’s true that this tends to happen more often to guys, but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen to women, as well.
To steer clear of this you just have to make sure that your flirtation is perceivable. And I really just mean perceivable; not obvious. You don’t need to show up in a teeny tiny mini skirt and do the Bend and Snap from Legally Blonde! I’ll go more into detail about how to flirt with him in a moment.
Just don’t give him the wrong impression and make him think you’ve come back just to be buddy ‘ol pals.
3. How to get your boyfriend to want you back: Don’t end up doing all the work in the end
It’s one thing to take matters into your own hands when you’re wondering how to seduce your ex boyfriend, but it’s another thing to be the only one putting in all the effort, trying to do everything to make him like you again… Sure, you can’t just sit around hoping to magically make him want you back, but you can’t become a doormat, and you have to let him make some advancements as well. Of course in the beginning it’s up to you to communicate what you want little by little, but then let him come to you.
I will expand on this point in the next bit, as again men are very turned on by challenges.
Making him work for it is one of the most important things you can do because as I said above, if he doesn’t have to try, sleeping with you will not represent anything that special to him.
I know that doesn’t sound so great, but it’s true. This has nothing to do whether your ex is a great guy or not, which I’m sure he is, but it’s just human nature. You’re probably thinking your ex is a great guy, and I’m sure he is, but it’s just human nature.
We view things that were easy to achieve as less precious than things that presented a challenge and had to be worked hard for. This is supremely important so don’t ever forget it!
The simple steps for how to seduce your ex starting today!
So now that you know what you have to be careful with, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and get that man back in your bed for good!
Whatever your motives may be, these guidelines will help you to move towards your goal. As I said in the beginning of this article, if you just want to start sleeping with your ex again without getting into anything serious, you don’t have to be as illusive as you would be if you’re trying to use seduction to get back together with your ex.
So without further ado, let’s jump in!
The first step for how to seduce your ex boyfriend starts with you…
Ah, that’s convenient right? The very first thing to start doing when you want to know how to seduce your ex boyfriend is to do some personal development! There is always room for improvement in our lives and it in turn makes you feel happier and more fulfilled. Some of the most attractive qualities a person can have are being in control of their lives, bringing their goals to fruition, being confident in their mind and body, and living each day to the fullest.
You can start today by hitting the gym and working on getting a hot new body that makes you feel like a million bucks, focus on projects at work (get yourself closer to that promotion!), spend time with your friends and family having fun and trying new things… If you want to, give yourself a makeover.
Do whatever you need to feel better in your life. Take a moment to reflect on any aspects of your personality that could use a little help, and start working on them. If you tend to get stressed out really easily, get into yoga or meditation. If you feel like you are always low on energy, switch up your diet to include more vitamin and mineral rich foods and less junk.
When you’re feeling great about yourself, you ooze self-confidence and nothing turns a man on more than a confident woman.
The second step to attract an ex back: Get back in contact with him!
So obviously the next thing you have to do when you want to attract your ex back is to get in touch with him if you haven’t been in contact.
Ok, but how? Well that depends on how things left off. If things have settled down since the breakup and you’re already able to talk cordially then you can simply invite him out for a coffee. If you need a pretext, tell him you’re thinking about remodeling something at your place and you’d like his opinion.
If you haven’t been in touch since the break up, or if you’ve been using the no contact rule, you’ll have to reach out with something that he will want to reply to. For example, something funny and lighthearted like a picture of something you saw or read. Or something along the lines of, “You’ll never guess who I ran into today!” You could also allude to a shared memory by saying something like, “Do you remember that time we were at my brother’s wedding and we nearly fell in the lake?” If you want to go for the gold right off the bat you can bring up a place where something intimate happened between you, otherwise any good memory will do.
Make the conversation very short. Don’t drag it out because you want him to suddenly have a good memory in his mind and then be left hanging. “So she’s been thinking about me… “
Send some lighthearted messages back and forth before you actually suggest meeting up. You can begin flirting now, and if you can, make it ambiguous to keep him on his toes. “It’ll be good to see you…”
If you are looking for even more ways to reach out to your ex you should really check out my Audio Seminar How To Get Him Back!
Final steps: Seduce your ex boyfriend in person with these fool-proof techniques
When you finally meet up with him, your body language is really going to come into play. To attract ex back, you have to let him pick up on the fact that you’re interested and you have to be careful to never ever seem desperate. Desperation doesn’t only come in the form of begging and pleading; it can also be in the form of being all over him right off the bat, showering him in compliments, wearing something that leaves nothing to the imagination, etc.
You’ll convey your interest through subtle body language at first. Look him right in the eyes when you’re speaking, and let your confidence show. (Confidence; not self-obsession or arrogance.)
Men are visual creatures so wear something casual that you know you look amazing in. Little by little start becoming tactile. Touch his arm when he makes you laugh, eventually touch his leg. In the first meet up, make sure not to take it too far. You want to leave it just subtle enough so that he notices something but isn’t sure if he’s imagining it or not. You want to spark his interest and make him continue to think about it.
Attracting your ex can also be done by talking about how great your life is right now. You’re enjoying so many things and you’re on top of everything. He’ll start thinking about how it would be if he were still in your life, sharing all of this with you. When you boost your self-confidence you become more positive, easygoing and fun and he will be reminded of the girl he fell for and start drooling over this improved version of her!
When he starts to understand (through your body language and smoldering looks) that you’re interested in him, it will be impossible for him to not think about getting intimate with you. You can slowly start to bring up romantic memories that get his juices flowing.
Now here’s the key… You need to leave him hanging. Leave early after receiving a message from work or from a friend. Make him think he’s going to get some and then bam, take it out of his grasp.
Allow him to think that he’s getting closer and closer, but never give in. Remember what I said above. He’s got to work for it or it won’t be as important to him. Only take it to the next level when you feel that he’s become invested, and even then, don’t be available all the time. Make him become addicted to you.
6 other tips that work great to seduce him again!
Once he’s realized that he can’t get enough of you and wants you back in his life, you have to be careful not to let this exciting feeling dwindle. Of course things will calm down once you get back into the rhythm of being together, but don’t make the mistake that so many people make… Seduction should always remain present, even if you’ve been together for a long time. If not, you risk allowing the relationship to become stagnant! Let’s look at how to preserve the passion between you and the man you love.
Stop being emotionally dependent
First you must acknowledge where you stand emotionally; if you are going through a breakup or are already separated, you’re probably in a state of emotional dependence in regards to your ex. More than simply being in love, you are unable to function on the day to day because your thoughts are consumed by the man that you love.
It’s essential that you quickly snap out of this frame of mind because it is very difficult to seduce him again from where you stand. You are simply not yourself, not the person that he once fell for and you are no longer a challenge.
In order to stop being emotionally dependent it will take a concerted effort on your part to try to de-program your mind. Find something that you like such as a sport, or working out and go out and exercise even just for a few minutes every time you start to lose yourself thinking about the man you love.
This process doesn’t have to be linked to a sport; you can also drink a non-alcoholic beverage such as milk when you are feeling overwhelmed. In time, usually after a period of three weeks you will be able to shift your focus and start to snap out of the state of emotional dependency.
Don’t be too needy or in demand
You will need to be really strong in order to control you urge to see or contact your ex every time you are thinking about him. Someone who is too needy or overbearing will have a very hard time trying to seduce the person that they have feelings for.
Contact should be sporadic, and always engaging and original. If you reach out to your ex everyday via phone, text or on social media platforms you probably will run out of interesting things to share and your conversations will run the risk of being dull.
Also you need to give him time to genuinely miss you and to be excited to speak with you. So don’t hesitate to go days or even weeks without reaching out. This will increase your chances of shifting the dynamic and also to work on your own personal development to become more appealing in his eyes!
Change your look and outlook
When a relationship starts to fall apart or is following a breakup, it it is often best to look for change in order to channel a more positive dynamic. Change can come in the physical form, by going for a new hair style that you have been thinking about doing for some time or by buying new clothes or a new perfume.
The element of surprise is an essential aspect of the seduction process. Furthermore, looks and sexual appeal play a huge part when looking to seduce a man again. You must feel sexy and be comfortable with yourself in order to really attract him physically.
To take it a step further, you also will need to change your outlook all together. Get in the mindset that you are not chasing him and hoping to win him back, but approach it as if you were both chasing each other. In essence you need to feel or at the very least to convince yourself that he is just as fortunate to be with you as you would be being with him.
Find projects and purpose
In order to make a leap in personal development, grow as a person and become more confident you have to be engaged in projects. It all starts with being active and looking to engage as much as possible in various endeavors in your day-to-day life.
Whether at work, in your household, in your hobbies or while engaged in the community, you need to really make it a point to put your entire being in whatever you are doing. You need to fully live in the present moment.
Ultimately we are advocating that you live with purpose; once you do, you will have no issues trying to seduce him again. Humans are attracted to other humans with drive and passion, and the man you love is most likely no different.
Engage with him as if he was a friend
It is of the utmost importance that you be natural, secure and confident when you are around the man that you are looking to seduce. The best way to stay in the right mindset is to try to talk to him while being as natural as you would be with a friend.
Try to not be too reactionary but more pro-active in your conversations. You can do this by changing the topic during your chats and by taking the lead, or again by not hesitating to give your opinion on certain subjects that you are discussing. Taking a pro-active approach will also help you to be less emotionally dependent.
Seduce him again like the first time around
Once you have reached a certain comfort level you will be in the right position to seduce him again like you did the first time around. You know him and what he likes so use your experience to your advantage in order to appeal to him on both a sensual and emotional level.
Use your eyes and your body language to express interest and to turn him on. Don’t be afraid; at this stage you will be in the best possible position to overcome the fear of rejection because of the different steps that you will have undertaken to get to this point.
If you are able to transcend the fear of losing him, showcase your change and re-establish a certain level of intimacy, it will be very easy for him to fall in love with you once again.
Seduction must be kept alive even when you get back together!
Even after you get back together you should always be in the mindset of looking to seduce your man. Relationships are too fragile in general to stop putting in the effort and hoping that they will simply maintain themselves.
The couples that are able to withstand the test of time and stay together are the ones that continuously nurture their relationship and their love for one another. Just like a plant or a garden needs to be watered on a daily basis, so does your relationship!
So many couples make the mistake of letting the seduction fizzle out in their relationship. It becomes boring, monotonous and unfulfilling. People need the excitement, and they need to feel desired by their partner. It’s one of the main things that keeps the bond between two people strong.
Seduction is a powerful tool whether you want to seduce your ex boyfriend or keep the flame alive in your relationship.
Take a look at our blog and be on the lookout for more romantic things to do to give you some more ideas on how to keep things exciting in your relationship, even long after you get back together!
I hope that this article will help you seal the deal and be with the man you love. Don’t hesitate to leave a comment below or to ask me a question related to what you are going through at the moment…it would truly be my pleasure to help!
Your coach to seduce him again,
Life Coach, Motivational Speaker & Relationship Expert