You’ve got a lot on your mind these days. A breakup is one of the hardest things a person can go through. You lose one of the most important things in your life. Studies show that this feeling is comparable to mourning. When someone breaks your heart you feel like you’re left at a disadvantage because it wasn’t even your choice to be put in this situation. There are so many reasons why a break up could happen, but the most important thing to realize is that there is always a reason. In this article I will help you pinpoint what exactly went wrong if you’ve found yourself thinking My girlfriend broke up with me, and how that can help you to bring her back into your arms.
So yes, in most situations you can get your girl back, but it’s going to require patience, self-control, and determination. It’s going to take a bit of time, but nothing amazing ever happens over night. The more effort you put into improving things, the more solid your future relationship will be! So let’s get right into how to get your girl back if she dumped you.
Why has my girlfriend dumped me?
As I said, break ups always have a reason behind them. I know a lot of people think, my girlfriend broke up with me for no reason, but I can tell you that there is always a reason. It could be something huge, or a build up of a bunch of little things. Sometimes when a person breaks up with their partner, they don’t tell them all the reasons behind it. It’s nothing malicious; it’s just that breaking up is hard enough already and sometimes a person just wants to get to the other side of it. So maybe she told you why, but take a moment to consider whether any of the following might play a part in why your girlfriend broke up with you.
Understanding the breakup is the key to finding solutions to avoid similar problems in the future. If you get back together with her, what do you think is going to happen if no solutions have been offered for the reasons why she left in the first place?
Basically, the trick behind how to get a girlfriend back after she dumped you is to be able to offer her a completely new relationship. I explain this entire process at great length in my Audio Seminar “How To Get Her Back“, and I provide you with a sneak peak in this article as well!
She broke up with me because of communication problems
This is one of the most common reasons why women leave their boyfriends. It’s true that generally speaking, women are a bit more communicative than guys regarding what they’re feeling, and when a girl doesn’t feel that she’s on the same page as her guy, she can begin to feel disconnected.
The other common problem is that oftentimes two partners don’t make the effort to share what’s bothering them, what they want, or what they need, and the result is pent up resentment. So maybe the issues aren’t even that huge, but if enough of them pile up and lead to grudges being held, then tensions just keep getting higher.
The remedy is going to be practicing communication skills. It’s not rocket science, but it’s not always as easy as it sounds. You will have to work on training yourself to pay attention to what’s going on in your mind, and putting words to it. The next step is to practice sharing it while remaining calm and reasonable. I only say that because I’ve seen a lot of people only share what they’re feeling in the middle of an explosive fight, and they end up getting dumped by girlfriend anyway… It shouldn’t be allowed to get to that point.
Communication problems are really common causes in the deterioration of a relationship. If this is one of your issues, please remember that you aren’t alone! Brian, for instance, felt totally blindsided when his ex, Kate, broke up with him. When I asked him why she left, he couldn’t answer! He didn’t know because he wasn’t too effective of a communicator with her.
It happens! BUT, we can fix it. Brian sure did. It was hard and it took time, but Brian really improved in how he spoke to people. He also worked on how well he listened to them.
Within a few months, he was back with his ex and I recently received an invitation to their wedding! They’ve never been better; and it never would have happened if they hadn’t broken up and learned about what went wrong. Life is ironic, so use this time to your benefit!
My girlfriend broke up with me because we were fighting
Speaking of fighting, this is a pretty obvious reason why people get broken up with and subsequently wonder, will she take me back? If you couldn’t get along and you couldn’t agree on anything, maybe your ex girlfriend thought that you were incompatible.
Truth is, this relates directly back to communication. Perhaps you, perhaps she, or maybe even both of you weren’t paying attention to your language when you were trying to voice your opinion on something. What I mean is that a lot of people sound unnecessarily aggressive without meaning to do so, and then the other person becomes defensive. So if you’re wondering how to get a girl back after a breakup, all you can do is focus on your own behavior.
If you had a tendency to say things like, “You always,” or “You never…” Work on switching around the way you present your idea. Instead of starting things with “You,” which already sounds like an accusation, use “I” instead. “You never let me hang out with the guys” vs “I’d really like to hang out with the guys this weekend.”
My gf dumped me because she doesn’t know what she wants
One of the more painful reasons behind getting dumped by your girlfriend is realizing that she doesn’t know what she wants. Perhaps she wasn’t sure of your feelings for you, or someone else caught her eye. It leaves you in this strange limbo situation where you don’t know if she wants you or not, so to try to make things easier she decided to leave.
The good news here is that if you switch your focus to seducing her again, chances are that you can absolutely get your girlfriend back after breakup! In a moment, I’ll get into self improvement techniques that are sure to attract her back, but the main idea here is to remind her of the guy she fell in love with and become an even better version of him!
Time and space will be needed for things to become clear in her mind, but you can do your part to jog her memory as to why she fell for you in the first place. So sleeping with your ex is not always the solution!
Is it too late to get her back if my girlfriend broke up with me?
The answer to whether or not it’s too late to get her back after getting dumped by your girlfriend depends on two things.
1. Do you feel that the issues you were having can be fixed? Can you forgive her for having left you, or for the reason behind the breakup?
2. Are you willing to put forth the effort required?
I’m going to be honest with you, and this is something very important to keep in mind. Your work will not end when you get her back. Getting her back after a breakup is actually the easiest part… Keeping her is what presents the biggest challenge. You will (both!) have to work hard to not fall back into the same patterns that led you to where you are today. This is why I keep saying that you have to understand what went wrong and incorporate the solutions into your every day life. Remember: we are here to help so get in touch with us at any time and we can guide you from A to Z HERE
So, if you’re willing to work on fixing the issues and you know you will be able to not hold any grudges over this break up, it’s not too late to get her back. Besides, each relationship is entirely unique, so some people get back together after a month, while others get back together after years. It just depends on when you decide to start working on getting her back after breaking up with your girlfriend.
Brian is a perfect example of this. Brian wasn’t going to give up so easily after she left. He was focused and committed. He followed my guidance from the start. Most importantly, his efforts were consistent! He never strayed from the plan.
What you shouldn’t do after a breakup!
In order to regain some self-esteem, you’re going to have to follow specific steps. The first is to understand what mistakes you should avoid after the breakup. The situation is hard enough as it is, so it’s essential to avoid doing things that will make things worse and decrease your chances of getting back together.
Don’t allow yourself to suffer and not do anything about it
I can’t bring myself to understand why some men just dwell in their sadness when they could easily take the initiative to bounce back. Of course a breakup is a shock because everything is being turned upside down, but you can get her back! Tomorrow morning you’re not going to wake up next to the person you love, but that doesn’t mean you should just complain and not try to do anything to fix this. Act fast because time isn’t always on your side.
A lot of people think that only time can heal heartache. This isn’t totally false; it will take some time before you feel completely fine again but it also depends on you! You might feel better in six months if you sit around waiting for the pain to pass. But wouldn’t it make more sense to make an effort to significantly speed things up? Your actions are going to have a much bigger effect on what ultimately happens rather than time.
Putting your ex on a pedestal
No your ex is not perfect. I’m not saying this to put them down. I just want you to be aware of the fact that your ex-partner isn’t always right and that their reasoning isn’t always accurate.
One of the biggest problems we see in men that have just been dumped (and we see this in women in similar situations as well) is that they tend to feel that their ex is completely right and they assume all the blame for the breakup. Because of the fear of creating more distance, you don’t dare to challenge your ex-girlfriend and you accept to take the blame. She can criticize you for a thousand things, but you won’t say a word back. This is not an healthy interaction.
Of course a person doesn’t leave another for no reason so it’s likely that you’ve made some mistakes; but is this a good enough reason to devalue yourself and to think that you’re not good enough? Of course not!
You shouldn’t settle for a mindset in which you think your ex is “better” than you. In fact, if you’re hoping to get back together you’re going to need to hold the belief that you two are made for each other and are therefore equals.
She broke up with me but I want her back: What do I do?
Alright so let’s get to the good stuff. So exactly how to get an ex girlfriend back after she dumped you? Simply by following these three steps, and sticking with it! This is where self-control is going to play a huge part of it… You have to make sure you follow the steps and don’t give in to temptation when she reaches out to you.
Even if you’ve made mistakes as mentioned previously, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. You can absolutely make up for what you’ve done wrong. You have to set into motion concrete actions in order to once again find happiness in love.
After a breakup not only are your emotions all tangled up, but your self-esteem also takes a blow. Remember, it’s hard to bounce back when your morale is in the gutter, so you’re going to have to pick your head back up if you want to rebuild your self-confidence. This is essential if you want to move towards your goals.
How to get a girl back after she dumps you step 1
If you’re familiar with our philosophy, then you’ve undoubtedly heard of the no contact rule. It is the single most effective way to get your ex girlfriend back.
Why? Simple; it makes her fear losing you.
If you’re not familiar with the technique, read this right away to brush up on how to use it: The eBook 70 pro tips to get back with your ex. Basically you are required to cut contact with your ex for a period of 1 to 2 months. It sounds scary, but if you do it properly, time will fly and your ex will be calling you in no time.
No contact means no calling, no texting, no stalking her pages on social media, no emailing, no “accidentally” bumping into her somewhere and even in some cases not replying to her messages at all! It’s easy to be taken for granted when you’re at someone’s beckoned call, and similarly, it’s basic human nature to miss something if it’s abruptly taken away from you.
So if you’re thinking my girlfriend dumped me and I need to blow up her phone and profess my love to her, you are sorely mistaken. All that will do is suffocate her and pretty much make her run for the hills. If you suddenly drop off the face of the earth, however, she will wonder where you are, what you’re doing, and consequently she’ll begin to doubt her decision to leave. It will be subconscious at first, but the more time you spend making her want to talk to you (because you’re not responding and therefore not giving her what she wants,) the more present that seed of doubt will become in her mind.
She might even message you with something like “You’re really just ignoring me?” But don’t give in. It’s the perfect temptation text because you’re thinking, “I don’t want her to think badly of me!” But all that’s happening is that she’s proving to you that she wants to talk to you. Besides, you’re the one that got broken up with so it’s perfectly normal that you’d need some “you time.”
Taking a step back was the first thing Brian did. He stepped away from the situation and allowed for the dust to settle and for her (and him!) to reflect on what went wrong. They breakthroughs they both made became the foundation of their new relationship.
She dumped me how do I get her back Step 2
While you’re using the no contact, there’s another extremely important thing that you need to be doing. Now is the time for some real self-improvement. So, now I’m not talking to her because she broke up with me now what, right? You’re going to have to become very busy very quickly.
While you were in the relationship, did you lose sight of some of your hobbies or projects that were important to you? Get back on it, and start hitting the gym more. Spend time with your friends and try new things. Go to new places, and grab life by the horns. It’s easy to become depressed and want to block the world out when you’re upset, but trust me that’s not going to get you anywhere (and especially not closer to your goal!)
Use social media to your advantage after my girlfriend broke up with me. Post pictures of you having fun and looking your best. Even if you’re no longer friends with your ex on Facebook, word will travel and she’ll find out how great you’re doing. It will make her wonder about what it would be like to share all of that with you.
How to win her back after a breakup Step 3
So after she broke up with me, and after the no contact rule, you’re going to have to get back in touch. This is when you could “accidentally” bump into her somewhere, or send her a text message or even a handwritten letter. If you’re up for it, you can even go ahead and give her a call.
Very important: don’t talk about the relationship or about the breakup (at least not yet.) It’s crucial to keep things easy and lighthearted. Let her see that you’ve been improving your life and have a great time. Show her that you’ve made improvements and show her that you’re a grown man, living life to the fullest. It’s way sexier than someone who allowed themselves to become depressed and lethargic.
Eventually, the reason(s) why my girlfriend broke up with me will come up in conversation. When it does, you don’t have to avoid the subject but rather start offering the solutions you’ve come up with. And remember: it’s important to take things slow, and allow her space to breathe, so avoid blowing up her phone even now. You want to give her the opportunity to continue to miss you!
How to have the perfect relationship when you get back together after she broke up with me
If you get back together after you and your girlfriend break up, you will both have to work hard to make sure that the lessons you learned and the improvements you made during your time apart remain in tact. Sadly, it’s really easy to fall into the same bad habits you had before, so make a conscious effort every day to not do that. Make sure you make her feel special and she should do the same for you. Never lose sight of excitement, and keep your relationship dynamic and exciting.
The good news is that if you succeed in doing this, your relationship will actually be better than it ever was before. Sometimes these awful time periods are blessings in disguise! They force us to open our eyes and make the necessary changes so that you can be truly happy together.
Of course right now it’s hard, but the clouds do clear, and you and your girlfriend could very well be happy together again. Just stick to the plan and focus on improvement.
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