Most people who have been in long term relationships will encounter a time when their sex life is not as it once was. You still love your partner, but the prospect of sleeping with them doesn’t excite you as it once did.
You seemingly have done all that could be done and explored all that could be explored, so how do you keep the sexual flame going in your couple and what can you do to spice things up? If you feel the need to make sexual encounters more exciting in your relationship, you have landed in the right place!
In this article we will give you tips and guidance on how to re-ignite sexual desires between you and your partner and spice up your sex life as if the two of you were hooking up for the first time!
Speak to your partner about your desire to spice things up
After months or even years of being with someone, we tend to become too comfortable and not put the same effort in trying to seduce our partner and arouse them. Life takes over, you get stressed with work, perhaps you even have kids and a million different things seem more important. It seems as if you need to put your time and energy towards everything but figuring out what could be done to reignite the sexual flame in your relationship.
But the reality is that novelty in sex, sexual appetite or a healthy sex life is tremendously important for a couple’s balance and it can have repercussions on your overall well being and outlook on life in general.
In that sense, being sexually frustrated can cause imbalance and have negative consequences on other aspect of your life that may not seem directly interlinked; being in shape and in a good mood are just some of the facets of our lives that can be affected by our sex life. Even more importantly, it is vital for your relationship and for the connection between you two.
If you are suffering from a dull sex life the first step is should be to speak to your partner about your need and willingness to spice things up in the bedroom. Be sure to take some of the responsibility for letting things slip to what they have become, to ensure that he or she does not take offense to your comments.
It is extremely important for you not to voice your concern over the situation in a negative way, but rather to speak about your willingness or desire to free or release your sexual appetite. A lot of times, your partner may not have the same sexual appetite as you, or simply could have been distracted by all the other things going on in their lives and not realize that you need more. You would be surprised about the impact that a simple casual and honest conversation could have on your sex life.
Don’t be shy about sharing your fantasies
While you’re at it and when talking about your sex life with him or her, don’t be shy to share your fantasies with your partner. If you are secure and willing to let them in on your most secret inner desires, you will give them a chance to act on them and take your sexual bond to another level. Everyone has hidden sexual desires, and the person that you share your life will could bring those to life.
You also need to be aware of your partner’s most inner desires to in turn bring those to life. If you feel that they are not ready or willing to speak their fantasies when you approach the topic don’t put pressure on them. Be sure to wait for the right time without being pushy as it would be self-defeating.
Once they are in a safe place and feel comfortable sharing their sexual secrets with you, play your part to enable them to fulfill their deepest desires. Ask them to be as detailed and specific about what turns them on so that you can be on point. You will also need to be willing to get out of your comfort zone and play the part!
If they are too shy to share their most inner desires with you or simply don’t seem to have a particular sexual fantasy, suggest to take turns relinquishing control during intercourse. Both of you will need to have total trust in each other to let the other take the lead without interruption no matter how shy one of you may get. We suggest coming up with a code word to let your partner know if things are going way beyond your comfort zone; but try not to use this code word unless you absolutely must!
Have sex in new, fun and edgy places
Another great and simple way to spice up your sex life is to challenge each other to have fun sexual encounters with each other in new places. Whether if it’s in your kitchen, in your car, in a fitting room during your next time at the mall or even at friends or relatives get creative and let loose!
You don’t even need to have intercourse but simply arouse your partner someway somehow. If you have been with them long enough, you know the little things that turn them on. If they giggle or get shy, make sure to be persistent to at least peak their interest. We guarantee that they will be thinking about you and start imagining all kinds of kinky stuff that they in turn could do to you.
Or simply bring back the old mirror trick; make sure to have sex where you can both look at each other through a mirror. There is nothing like a full length mirror to immediately spice things up and make intercourse exciting.
Watch hot videos, buy sex toys and role play!
Our last suggestion is to not be shy; be kinky with your partner and slowly let loose like you once did. Maybe you can invite them to watch hot videos together or go to a sex shop to buy a new sex toy that you could use on each other during intercourse.
If you do not feel like going to a sex shop, a good tip is to role play together. There is nothing like being someone else to free yourself and let loose during sex. When role playing, try to dress up, wear a wig or glasses or something that you would never wear. You could speak with an accent or have them call you by another name. The key here is to take it seriously, not laugh at each other and to try to enjoy!
In order to reignite the sexual complicity that once existed between you and your partner, it should start with communication; both sides should be able to voice in a constructive and positive manner what is holding them back.
We encourage you to speak to your partner about your fantasies and deepest desires. Finally be sure to force yourself to flirt in different places, to role play and perhaps even to use sex toys to create a new environment and break away from the ordinary.
Your coach, to help spice up your sex life in long term relationships,